Man I Hate Cancer.

Checklist.

(bold words are clickable links)

What..in…the…F*** was that?

Something ruthless just tried to take my life away.

One minute I was baking kale, next thing I had breast cancer. Triple Negative Breast Cancer to be exact, Stage 2. I just finished 36 rounds of radiation, and before that: a double mastectomy with reconstruction, six rounds of chemotherapy (carboplatin-taxol) with neulasta injections & lupron as well, fertility treatments, a lumpectomy, a couple of biopsies & other necessary scans (MRI, Bone, PetCT, Brain, Blood, etc.etc..) and way too many blood draws and the many side effects from EVERY single thing (alopecia,  neuropathy, anemia etcetcetc) …OH, my first mammogram, and finding out I tested positive for the BRCA1 gene, which can be passed down to any future children I may have.

And that’s all not so bad compared to some of the other cancer patients I’ve met along the way, suffering from far more complicated and chronic disease. I can’t even think of them without feeling upset and angry…so ****ing angry that I can’t help. How can I help them? We’re all in this together right?  How can we help each other? We all just want to live…I hope I can figure out how to make myself useful to serve and support others dealing with cancer.

What I will do is continually be grateful for my life, SO GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE…though I’ll forever have to be monitored for anything unusual besides the normal unusual :), I hope to live long, old & grey with my incredible husband, future children, and become a great grandmother. That’s all. Is that too much to ask for? Yes I want to raise awareness, return the love and support that has been shared with me, but man oh man I’m going to live the cancer right out of my life….I’m going to fill up my life with SO much LOVE and stupid vegetables, there will simply be NO room for anything else, but GOODNESS. And maybe some bacon, grass fed, organic bacon.

I want to live to see the day when cancer will be a thing of the past.

Its all so unfair. Ya know, my treatment center alone was always so packed and full of cancer patients, its horrible. Absolutely curse word horrible.  I don’t even know what to say really…I was going to blog during treatment, but decided not to. Then I thought I should because it might be helpful for me, and for others, then I didn’t. I still don’t know what use of this blogging about cancer from my point of view would be, I’m not brave or have any insight to prevent this from happening to anyone else. I could tell you all day to go in for your check ups, but at the end of the day its all on whatever you want to do. I’ve reminded my family and friends, and they still haven’t bothered to get checked up.

If you have never walked through a cancer treatment center, for adults and or children, you should….cancer is real and closer than I ever thought it’d be. Donate, be aware of your body, and most importantly, don’t be judgmental, you never know what someone is going through, surround yourself with love and good people. I don’t know that I can sum up how I’m feeling, but a good piece of advice I was given from a 17 year breast cancer survivor is, live as if.

xo,

Rodene Jones

P.S. I GOT MARRIED! 

My everything.

My everything.

P.P.S. Some women who I’ve met online, in REAL LIFE :), or who I wish I could’ve met, women I respect dealing with their own personal fight with cancer:

http://lisabadams.com

http://sarboobs.wordpress.com

http://cancerisstupid.wordpress.com

http://dameazon.blogspot.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1SI3V1Ar20 (rest in peace)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ8-f7F9BdI&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSQ8-f7F9BdI&has_verified=1

When I can think of more, I will definitely share…or if you can think of others, please share.

Special thank yous to everyone who have been so very supportive, all of the kind words, generous donations, and loving vibes…making this whole “thing” brighter and less scary for my husband and I. I hope you all know how much all of it means to us Joneses.

Part of me hopes to never see another Rohawk (before chemo, I was advised to shave my hair off before it starts to fall off, less traumatic & messy, so my husband decided to show his support by letting me shave his head and dye his Rohawk pink, what a sweet husband) ever again, but I also like that it helps bring up the conversation of cancer and the importance of early detection. 🙂  Thank you husband, UnkleRupert,TheCheeseyGaming, Laughing Banshee…forever appreciate the support.

My love.

One of a kind…and all mine.

Nice guy.

The kindness of strangers is something else.

Thank you.

Amazing.

Supportive, kind man.

What a face.

Already a heart of gold.

Neil raised a good one.

The Miltons, so sweet.

Beautiful.

Chanceforhope.com

Chanceforhope.com

The Joneses.

Love is real.

*I’m really sensitive, and it took me a lot to get this blog entry up, so please don’t be negative. I’m not trying to be a professional writer or am I trying to prove anything. I do want to be helpful and share what I’ve experienced and am experiencing to help at least one person. Truly hoping I can share something that can help someone else with this blog, maybe even if that only person is me. 😛 I personally found it very useful reading through other patient’s blogs before and during treatment.

SO, I am not open to criticism, bullying or anything of the like. Just please move on without causing anything but love, smiles and kindness. 

Thanks for being a part of my recovery….

20 comments

  1. I’m almost speechless but then I think that if you were able to put all of that into words up there, you deserve more than speechless. It made me feel good to read about your recovery, and about all the ugliness you’ve endured to get this far. Talking about it is so necessary. There’s been lots of cancer in my family, and I went through the treatment shebang with my mom, who had pancreatic cancer.
    In reading this post my favorite part is the hating cancer part. It feels good for all of us to say it together. In any language, politely or vulgarly. I think we can’t stop talking about it. No more hushed conversations. Cancer sucks. Surviving is amazing and wonderful. And cancer still sucks.
    Thanks for posting this and for being brave enough to share ALL the details. I think the details are important, too. Congratulations on having a passion for your own life and for being inspired to help others.
    I came to this from being of fan of “Moon,” Mr. Jones’ twitter and then yours.
    It may sound silly but, thank you for fighting the cancer, and thank you for talking about it.
    I hope to be a lifelong fan of the entire Jones family and look forward to many more smiles from you, and for you.
    Sincerely,
    Monica

  2. How anyone could be negative when you’ve shown and inspired so much love and courage is beyond me. I wish you all the best for the future, and hope you live the long and happy life you want. Lots of love. :0)

  3. I’m so glad to see you making your way thru this. I had only the highest of hopes and best thoughts for you. My mom is in the beginning of her second treatment for Stage 3 Breast Cancer, the first go around was about 4 years ago. Its a rough road to be on, but seeing stories like yours is always uplifting. Keep being awesome!

  4. So Miss Ro… I have been following your journey since you first tweeted about the the battle you were preparing for. You are BEAUTIFUL and BRAVE. Your words have surely educated, inspired, comforted, and provided some comic relief along the way. I will NEVER forget your Boobie Cookies!!!! My spectacular Mom-in-Law fought bravely for 22years. So much AMAZING happened in those 22 years. She lived as if… 😀 I hope you find that although difficult to approach and complete, this blog provided an intrinsic satisfaction. I do believe the external effects for readers will be felt for years to come. Thank you for taking the time to share all that you have. You are a Brave Warrior Mrs. Jones. Oh, and your hubby is spectacular too!!! What a man to have by your side. He clearly ADORES you.

  5. kick ass woman…big respect…my sister has a brain tumour but she is so damn strong just like you…sounds like you got a great support network around you oh and tell your hubby to make a good warcraft film for all us geeks out there..seriously though wish you all the best.loads of love from the uk steve and si xxxx

  6. Hi, you’re grace and humour have been truly inspirational, kick its sorry ass,
    Love to you
    Martin
    (Sorry about my lack or eloquence)

  7. I hate cancer too. It is ravaging a few of my friends right now and has taken others. The treatment has come a long way, but still such a long way to go. Keep that sense of humor and stay strong. Here’s wishing you many healthy years, and those grandchildren you aspire to. Though we are strangers, I send love and wishes for good health. Hope there is a super power in good vibes 🙂 xoxox Linda

  8. Sending you lots of good wishes.
    I wish for you a long life full of health and happiness and filled with love and laughter.
    What a truly moving piece written from the heart and with dignity.
    Take care the 2 of you

    Love from Samantha
    in the UK

  9. Sending you lots of good wishes
    I wish for you a long life filled with health and happiness, full of love and laughter. Such moving moving words written from the heart and with such dignity. Take care the 2 of you.

    With love from Samantha from the UK xx

  10. Hey Rodene,
    I just saw this post via Twitter and I am so touched. Cancer is awful, and the way that cancer centres can make you feel like a sick person just makes it so much worse (needlessly). Thank you for being brave and sharing your story! It sounds like you are an amazing and unique person. You got this 🙂 keep finding your strength an your centre! You’re doing so well 🙂

  11. Dear Rodene,

    Of course we have never met – but your honesty and strength has been incredibly inspiring.

    I’m turning 30 but have known far too many who have suffered from this terrible disease – both men and women.

    I admire your openness and willingness to continue to talk about the dreaded ‘C’ word.

    You are a beautiful, courageous soul.

    I wish you a lifetime of happiness, good times and smiles!

    V from Down Under

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